By Arely Herrera
I Was/ Yo Era
Sale el sol y camino por delante
La luna me dice adiós y sigo adelante
Antes, lo material de este mundo consumaba mi cuerpo
Yo era perdedora
Yo era de las que lloraban cada hora pero nunca salían mis lágrimas
Nunca podía imaginar las bendiciones de mañana
las canciones de la madrugada
el aire que me esperaba en el segundo siguiente
Atrapada en un presente que sólo existía en mi mente
Yo era
Yo era de las que se olvidaban de su ser y sus seres queridos
Perdida en un olvido
un abismo contenido por mi cerebro
Inconsciente de mi cuerpo en ese momento
Yo era
Pero ahora estoy despierta
Dando la bienvenida a todo lo que llega
y dando gracias a todo lo que se aleja
Yo era
Pero ahora Soy
Como el sol, vengo y voy
Coma la tierra, cultivo
Como atl, sostengo
Como las plantas, recibo
Como mis antepasados, sobrevivo
A traves sus historias me motivo
y sigo Adelante
dando gracias a mi ser
y a todo lo que un día perderé
Contextualization
Geographies of our antepasados and futuros of our relational place-making mark our realities as plural ones. I’ve known my reality to be plural since I was in the womb. My mom was six months pregnant with me when she took a flight from Lynwood, California to Memphis a sembrar seeds with a ranchero from Zacatecas, i.e. my dad.* I was of the first generation of Herreras to be born en El Norte and the first in my family to be born in da Souf.
Despite the geographic and cultural differences among Memphis, Lynwood and Villanueva, Zacatecas, they are each pivotal places of my plural realities. A new complex factor would be added when I embarked on a PhD program in College Station, Texas. Whereas Lynwood, Memphis and Zac warm my spirit with histories of La Huelga, stories of the laborious days en el molino y el barbecho, and images of I AM A MAN that remind me of our people’s strength, College Station froze my soul, and I was unable to exist as I once did, for a while. This piece is a reflection of the stages of conocimiento, according to Anzaldúa (2015), I endured during my time at A&M. Places sometimes make us feel incomplete, but through movements and knowledges, we can re-member ourselves by honoring the places that mold us.
*Lynwood, California is about 10 minutes from Compton. In California, cities are less than five miles apart. In Memphis, it takes 3 times as that many miles to get from Frayser to Whitehaven. I’ve noticed that Memphis is a lot less condensed than most cities.
References
Anzaldúa, G. Light in the dark/Luz en lo oscuro: Rewriting identity, spirituality, reality. Duke University Press. 2015.